Women of God

"Women of God can never be like women of the world. The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity."
-Margaret D. Nadauld

Lonely Person Theory

Some people walk around and on the inside they are ice but on the outside they pretend that they are fine and that everything is peach punch.
And they walk around with smiles on and they wave at their friends and they elevate their voices to high pitches when they see an acquaintance and they make their bodies hug. They put on a show because on the outside they are supposed to be fine. But I wonder sometimes what kind of ice they carry with them.
Maybe person X just got fired and they have to skip lunch.
Maybe person X just found out their Mom has cancer, or their Papa.
Maybe person X is just unhappy because they are experiencing unrequited love or maybe person Z who they love recently broke up with them for reasons they don't understand and they are afraid of being alone.
Or maybe person X just failed an exam or found out their puppy Luigi died or that Obama is the new president or that it is snowing for the 814th day.
But maybe it is just me thinking that person X is sad and carries ice inside of them. Maybe everything really is peach punch.
But me? I am ice woman today. Made of ice.

My Life be Like....

A long time ago, never mind how long, I had this strange, romantic idea. I thought that if I could sit for a moment, and plan out my future in my mind, it would come true. I would sit for hours awake in bed and tell myself that I would have these adventures, and I would be the most beautiful girl at the party always, and that I would be ambitious, and talented enough to do everything I needed when I needed to, regardless of age or space or time. I would be flirtatiously short, blond, busty, and rich, (none of which I happen to be) and I would have several beau's all of whom would be delighted with gratitude to be with me. Needless to say... I was a precocious child. And I am delighted to not be that girl. Sometimes our experiences, our tragedies, our pain and tears make us not only better people morally, but usually more fun, more understanding and empathetic, and more aware of what we do have. Deborah Keenan put it this way, "this path, this road that is one perfect straight line even if it goes around the world through heat and fog and rain and snow and its my life I keep thinking. Its my life." This heat and fog and rain and snow become who we are. A big mess of emotions that can never really find their way home until it is all over. Strangely enough however, I do believe in destiny, or fate if you will. But I believe we make it ourselves. And I will send this belief into the void, and ask you, whoever you are, to read. And maybe communicate. But mostly stop living life without that intact emotion, despite the fire and fog and rain. And love yourself in a way that you think you have come to deserve. Then deserve it.