There are too many things to say. And there are far too many things to do.
I've decided that my new life mantra is Andy Warhol's simple epithet: Do Everything.
I told Kevin that I want to live by that mantra my entire life. I want to go to Cairo and Jerusalem. To spend a year in the French countryside. A year in Italy. To raft in Peru (which we are actually going to do over Thanksgiving!)
I want to go to culinary school, and interior design school. I want to get my PHD in Creative Writing and teach at a university. I want to learn to sew and paint and fly fish.
"I want to have a dozen kids," I told Kevin and received two adorable, raised eyebrows in response. Because, well, a dozen is a lot but I want a house full of noisy, sassy, perfect children. I want to be a mom to all of them.
I want to work for a major company. I went to QVC this week and was enthralled by the business model. I want to create that. I want to be an editor. I want to write so many books. I want to open a restaurant. I want to learn to take photographs. I want to learn how to play the cello, and the harp.
I have heard parents limit my piano students. "He didn't practice because..." "This song was too hard for her..." "She can't do it." It makes me so angry the way some of them do it so casually. I often wondered why these parents would limit their kids, instead of pushing them to be better. Instead of expecting excellence.
When I think about it though, I am so quick to limit myself. "I can't do this and have kids..." "I can't go there because of money..." "I'm not talented enough."
But this morning on my carpool to work with Kev, we dreamt up all of the things we could and will do. It's not a matter of if, but when with a husband like him. That might sound blindly optimistic but if I have the choice between limiting or aspiring the answer is so simple. I feel like it has taken my entire life up to this point to realize this basic, essential truth:
We can have exactly what we want.