People already know by now that Kevin finished his first year of medical school. We took a walk in Glendale a few weeks ago, right before finals and I realized in that moment how much I've grown to love that place. It was scary leaving my home and my friends and my life in Utah, but I've since realized that you can build all of that again. Only instead of having one life, you now have two, and I don't know where I would begin to choose which life I prefer. They are both right for me, in that I am myself in both of them, but I am different parts of myself.

I told Kevin for the first time on that walk that I'm so happy that we have three years left there because I can't imagine leaving that sunny place yet. He laughed, and reminded me how hesitant I was to leave. We talked about how we were told that this experience would be the hardest ever, and test our marriage and our patience. We  both admitted that we kept waiting - all year for it to get hard. Of course there were some bad days, and I know that we have some rough years ahead but at least we had this first year to realize that life isn't as bad as some people make it out to be. 

We're in Utah now for a few weeks. Jessica is getting home on Friday from 18 months in Lithuania and my other sisters are coming shortly after and I'll finally have everyone I love most in one place. Kevin has time to spend with me again, and it's been fun to rediscover what he does and how he acts when he has free time. He's planning a trip to Italy and France for us this August and his excitement is tangible and contagious. I get to talk to my mom every day after work and eat her meals, and watch my brother play basketball with my dad rooting him on. I brush my eleven year old sister's hair after her showers, and listen to her tell me about her friends and their fifth grade drama. 

I guess what I'm trying to say with all of this rambling, is that I am just really happy with this time in my life. And all of this gratitude seems like the best way to express it.  



So I kind of stopped posting around here because most of my time has been focused on my book. A book. I wrote one. It's still hard for me to wrap my mind around that.

It's taken the better part of two years and it has been the hardest, most terrifying, and most rewarding thing I have ever done. I'm so proud of it, and I love the story and I want other people to read it and love it too.

But I have no idea what to do next. So much time has been spent on the writing part, that I haven't even considered what would happen once it is done. I've done research on agents and query letters etc. since I finished but I still feel so lost. 

Does anyone have any advice for me? Connections? Suggestions?  It's so scary thinking that something you love so much could be turned down repeatedly but I love it enough that I think I'm brave enough to try.

Thanks. Love you guys.