Sometimes I wake up in this place from the heat that is already filling my world, mid-March. I wonder how I got here and then I roll over or more often am woken by the soft hum of the man who sleeps next to me, his face in mine. "Right," I think. "You brought me here." He is a choice I make every day, every moment I am alive. He tells me every day that he is living his dream, and hopes I am living mine, too. It's a beautiful symmetry we share - my preciseness with decisions, and his eager willingness to support them, whatever they are.

We all could have lived a hundred different lives with different people, outcomes, worlds. But this is the world I chose, given free reign to do so and somehow that makes this existence of mine the best thing I have ever done. 


2 weeks

I just got back from two weeks in Utah. I flew out for a work photo shoot the first week, and since Kevin's spring break was the next, he joined me for the second week and we drove home together. It was strange being gone so long. Arizona really does feel like home now, even though I grew up in Utah. We love it here, but it's still nice being able to eat my mom's meals and play cards by the fire with my fam once in awhile. Here are a few photos of the trip - again, Instagram is all I use anymore. I wish I were better at using my real camera.

Julie and I at Slab pizza. She is the best bonus to marrying Kev ever. P.s. if you considered going to Slab, get the Chicken Bacon Ranch. Trust me.

 Lunch with Ash and Brittany at the Black Sheep Cafe. I love being able to talk to people who get me. Ashley sent me this quote a few months ago, and I think about it a lot. She was right when she told me that we are people like this. Brittany too. It's so strange that we all went to the same high school and years later are better friends than we were back then.

"This is why it hurts the way it hurts. You have too many words in your head. There are too many ways to describe the way you feel. You will never have the luxury of a dull ache. You must suffer through the intricacy of feeling too much."
                      - Iain Thomas 

Meeting Katie's beautiful babe Vivian and seeing Tia and Heather too, was a highlight of my trip. I love that we can cry and talk and laugh even months after not seeing each other. We pick up right where we left off. It's a pretty amazing thing I am just realizing.

 Book club at Communal I squeezed in right before we left. Brittany summed this experience up best here. I can't believe what book club has become. I started it a year ago (remember this post?) and even though I have since moved, they still meet and I think we can all agree it is good for our souls. For those who couldn't make it this week, I missed seeing you! (I'm looking at you Hillary and Emma!) 

Not pictured: Dinner at Tia and Dan's cute apartment, hours of book strategizing with my brilliant Dad, a birthday party for my mom complete with flowers, balloons and Canasta, date night with Kev finally! (we saw Warm Bodies and I liked it), watching Fight Club with my dad, long hours at the office, and breakfast with Kev's mom and siblings followed by middle-of-the-day mafia. 

Thanks for having me Utah.