12.15.2010

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Looking at this photo from Tiffany's Holiday Campaign made me wonder when my life will be that way. Two beautiful children in tow, holiday shopping as a family - at Tiffany's wouldn't hurt.

It is so easy to want to skip this part of life, where Kevin stresses about getting into medical school, and getting near-perfect grades. Where the constant weight of finances, and the unknown of where our life will go next and where we will be living in a couple years bears down on me. When we will have our first child, and what they will be like and how we will know what to do when he or she comes.

Lately I wake up in the middle of the night and I can't fall back asleep because all I can think about is these worries, and these uncertainties. I feel so afraid for what is ahead, and if I will be ready for it when it comes.

Kevin told me last night before we fell asleep that he can't wait for my birthday next year already. And I realized that even though he is the source of much of my worrying - late nights at the library, a great MCAT score, a secure place for us, I also realize that he is my anchor. Anywhere he goes, I will go too.

I'll follow that kid anywhere.

15 comments:

chrischaos said...

this is the image of the marketed family, so this is what is instilled in us that we need to be this. i would give alot to be that guy with that wife and those children, but in real life. i dont think this happens alot.

Rachel {Inspiration in Italy} said...

This made me tear up a little. I can relate to these kinds of struggles! :)

xo
Rachel

ashley maureen said...

i saw this tiffany's ad recently and had similar thoughts. amazing how such a simple photo can evoke such emotions...

Diana Smith said...

Im so there with you girl! Its crazy how things change so quickly and we have no idea how our lives will end up! Life is a fun roller coaster!

7upkels said...

I am loving everything about this.

annie said...

it's so hard to just take one day -- and one life stage -- at a time. but we've got to relish the moments, because this, too, will pass, and quickly. enjoy these days!

Amanda said...

I love how you take the simplest picture and turn it into something I can truly relate to.

I can always image that this is how my husband and I will look in ten years, but the nice thing about life is that we are always completely different then what we imagine (and always perfectly similar to what God had in mind all along).

The time of our life right now is so full of possibility.

Brittany said...

You are brave. But lucky to have someone to love and to follow. It's kind of funny, but this makes me think of Christine and Raul and "All I Ask of You." Beautiful.

Michelle said...

I remember feeling such similar thoughts, and I still do at times, but almost without trying, I find myself married to the love of my life, with two beautiful girls in tow, and I realize that God is in control. He knows our fears and he knows our wishes, and he is so so good to us!

Hang in there!

Shalyn said...

I am there right with you lady- times are tough in AZ as well. We will all get there someday! Some of us just have to wait longer (alot longer) than others;-)

Love Cami. said...

:)))) oh my love. so dang cute.

Grace said...

so so sweet. love this post.

Emma said...

you always put things so perfectly. i too worry like crazy, not falling asleep for hours because i stress about the future. not fun.

kate lines said...

oh i know these feelings. one of my goals for this year was so live in the moment and not worry so much about the future. and i can honestly say, praying and putting forth a big effort to live now has helped me so much. i've had so much less anxeity in my life this year...

andrea said...

I love the support and love you have for each other. I love how those thoughts are rolling through his brain too, but he finds joy in YOUR birthday and can't wait for it to happen a whole year from now. :) you both get stressed but you seem to keep your heads on straight and things in perspective. It's admirable. :)