Courage to Blog

It is easy to forget why I started here.
In the days before giveaways, and sponsors, and formspring - -
there existed just me, a confused, lonely freshman who took her feelings out,
not on her roommate, although it may have happened once or twice (Sorry Lizzie).
Not on her boyfriend at the time who came to be someone she doesn't think about anymore
because the forever one was thousands of miles away in Argentina.
(She just didn't know it yet.)
Or on her journal, which sat stationary in the draw under her desk - willing, even desiring to accept her secrets but instead collecting dust, while the girl sat down at her computer,
afraid to sort out her feelings, because she was afraid of what might be in there. Inside her.
Doubt? Yes. Uncertainty? Yes. Courage? Enough.
She cracked open the computer, typed in the words -
And started a blog.

500 posts later, I am so grateful for that little bit of courage, that enabled me to find myself through my own words, my keyboard, and the kindness of strangers that have become my friends. Thank you, each of you who have helped me find my voice. For every comment that inspired me and motivated me and reminded me that blogging isn't to become popular or recognized or paid. It is to write about our lives and our moments and our feelings so that we can bless others and meet ourselves again and again.


Ana* said...

to meet myself again was/is my goal. i have learnt so much from the blogesphere, about myself, about others. I am so glad i found your blog, your honesty & posts never cease to inspire me.

beautifully written!!

whitney johnson said...

i read this post twice just because i loved it so much! very well said and thank you thank you thank you for the reminder :)

annie said...

Thank you so much for the reminder of what blogging is really all about. Before it became about followers and giveaways, it was really about self-discovery. Creativity. Community. Story. I don't want to forget that. Thank you...

Brittany said...

Yes yes yes. I love that your blog is still just you and just what you want to say. It's why I can't stay away and why I often smile and cry my way through boring classes and late nights. So glad we somehow found each other in the blogosphere. Your words have meant a lot to me.

(Congrats on 500 posts!)

Michelle said...

So beautifully said. It's true that sometimes it can feel like a popularity contest, when it is really just about self expression....no matter who reads it.

Lizzy said...

Aah I love you Mands. You didn't take it out on me too much freshman year :). You are so talented and you inspire me from thousands of miles away. I am thankful to be able to blog as a missionary and to share myself and my testimony. Blogging rocks.

L!$@ said...

This is totally why I blog :D Beautifully put!