love languages

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I have had friends and co-workers ask me what my love language is, and to be candid - I hate that question. Just because someone decided that there are five love languages, people seem to believe that there is this one way you feel loved in order to be fulfilled. If you have ever been in love, you know that there is no such thing as a love language - but there are thousands of languages, and some are learned and some are innate and some are as foreign as the gaping universe surrounding each of us but there is no such thing as one.

The first time I ever cried with Kevin, was in a hammock in the park. The stars stretched out above us - as they did for every important moment in our love life, and we listened to Ryan Adams on my iPod, each of us sharing a bud. My mom left for Connecticut earlier that day, and I was leaving to Hawaii in a week. He didn't say anything as he felt the tears stream down my face, but his hold got a little tighter, and he kissed me on the forehead. I didn't want him to say anything - I already knew.

The first time he told me he loved me I heard it, but the first time I really knew he loved me was when he barraged back from security as he was leaving the airport in Hawaii to pick me up one more time and kiss me goodbye. He had said "I love you" hundreds of times prior but that was the first time I believed him.

Then on the day of our wedding when he showed up at my house and looked so real and full in my doorway and asked me how I slept with a kiss on the cheek, and his hands in his pockets. That said it all. "I love you, I'm not going to try to make you any more nervous than you already are by telling you how much I love you, but I want to do this still if you do."

So I guess my answer is, that I don't believe in love languages but I do believe in love. I believe that you need someone who really knows you, and how you want to be loved, otherwise you begin to wonder, "what is my love language, anyway?"


7upkels said...

Oh Mandy, this made my heart so happy. I remember taking the love language test in a class and after getting my results I remember thinking that there had to be so much more to it than that. You said everything so perfectly. I just love it.

Anonymous said...

This is so cute Mands! You're so cute. And I agree...now I just need to find someone ha :)

Brittany said...

I'm totally guilty of loving psychological quizzes. But I think the one thing I really learned from reading about the 5 love languages is that everyone understands love differently. Everyone feels it, gives it, and needs it differently. Realizing this has made me so much more conscious of the people I like, love, fall in love with. It's helped me be more selfless in relationships (though I still have to work on that a lot).

What you wrote is true and beautiful. I love little snippets of your and Kevin's story.

Ana Magdalena said...

Mandy! You have nailed it once again, this post hit home for me. I felt like I was reading a love advice book throughout the entire post.

Anne588 said...

I love your thoughts. Totally agree.

andrea said...

i think it would be fun if you wrote more memories like this -- they are cute. :)

Lovely Little Nest said...

this is so sweet and so genuine. thank you for sharing :)