3.16.2011

Things I don't want to forget

Being woken up this weekend in Anaheim by what I thought was someone pounding on my door. Rolling out of bed, and going to my 19th story balcony to see Disneyland fireworks, exploding right above my head.

Callie (9 year old sister) and I playing "Heart and Soul" as loud as we can, and me hugging her afterwards and telling her she is a regular Madson sister and her sweet laugh and eager-to-please grin.

Kevin telling me he had a surprise for me and bringing in the latest Elle Decor and Cadbury Eggs while I was sitting on our bed. He made it such an event. I never want to forget that.

Seeing Laura in Anaheim, and feeling that familiar feeling when you see an old friend and remember why you were friends to begin with, and acting like your time apart didn't exist, really.

Reading this poem for the first time, (Thanks Priscila!) and repeating these words over and over in my head,

"and when we speak we are afraid
our words will not be heard
nor welcomed
but when we are silent
we are still afraid

So it is better to speak
remembering
we were never meant to survive."

Listening to Ryan Adams "In My Time of Need" and missing Kevin so much on the plane. That has got to be one of the most emotional, beautiful songs I have ever heard or will ever hear.

My little brother Taylor saving his pennies to buy an iPad. As silly and unnecessary as it is for an 11 year old, I am ecstatic for him. His happiness is more than I can bear.

Such small things, but by writing them I feel like I imprint them into some small place in this world, in the cyber - in the void. But that still gives them a place and makes all of this happiness and beauty and love more real. Containable.

7 comments:

Love, Life, Lace said...

This was darling! Thank you for sharing!
xo

Rosie said...

What a small world, I live in Anaheim, and yes the fireworks every night are pretty loud, but they're so beautiful, I feel very fortunate to get to view a spectacular fireworks show every night during the Spring/Summer months.

L!$@ said...

It's the little moments that count huh :D Family are the best!

Diana Smith said...

Disneyland fireworks are sooo fun! Especially from your hotel room!! I hope you can make it to my Utah Blogger Party! Deets on my blog!!

Laura said...

Three cheers for seeing Laura in Anaheim! It really was so great to see you. I miss everyone and it's such a treat when I get to see you--even if it is just for a few hours on a crazy Friday night.

Priscila ° said...

I wish I could express my simple happy moments as well you do. Always a refreshing read. And thank you for reminding of that poem. :)

Brittany said...

Oh I love this. I never really thought about blogging this way--is that weird? But I guess I do largely do it to remember the small things I love and feel. Which is lucky because I'm a terrible journaler.