Kevin started medical school today. Well, orientation I guess, which is the same thing in my book. He is there all day for the rest of the week and classes begin on Monday. He packed his backpack and I wanted to cry almost. Like it was my six year old going away to Kindergarten and I worried if he would make friends and I wanted to pack him a lunch but instead I kissed his cheek goodbye and waited for him to text me. It broke my heart a little bit to see him leave.
I've been thinking about us a lot lately with this impending journey ahead of us. Everyone says I won't see very much of him from here on out. No more spending all day together, no more eating all three meals just us and chatting until late at night, like two girls at a sleepover and making ourselves turn over to fall asleep not because we ran out of things to say but because there is so much left it will need to be saved for tomorrow.
I really don't feel sad about it, even though people keep asking me if I am. I'm not worried about our future and I'm not worried about finances or missing him or having to do some things alone. Instead, all I feel is so incomprehensibly proud. Like, rays of proud are beaming off of my body. Not just because of the fact that it is medical school but because of the hours of commitment that brought him here and the hours that will carry him through to the end. There's really something beautiful about witnessing someone you love make their dreams happen.
photo via. i am dying to get some of her artwork.
4 comments:
what an exciting time for you guys! I think it's going to be GREAT for him that you have such a positive outlook too.
still don't run out of things to say? umm can I have that please! that's inspiring
CarissaExplainsItAll
I remember feeling this way when Robert started grad school a few years ago, but I guess you get used to it. It's just like working a full time job, but with a lot of overtime at home. It will be rough, but every time I get sad at how difficult it is, I just remember what an investment he's making for our future. Maybe that will help a bit :)
Good luck to your husband my dear. I'm sure he will do great!
xoxo,
Joelle
hello! This is Heather, I worked with Kevin in the lab a while back, at BYU. I just read this post and couldn't resist commenting. My husband started med school last year and I was very very stressed, sad, worried, anxious, etc about the change and how much less I would see him. I mean, you know how it is. Everyone gives you their advice and their horror stories. I don't know if it was because I was expecting the worst, but it wasn't nearly as bad as I anticipated. And I mean, I guess it's always going to be different, depending on the couple. My husband studies a large amount on campus during the day so that he is much more free in the evenings. But that's not always an option, depending on their schedule. But anyway, my point is that I kept waiting for it to get worse, kept enjoying the time I had while it lasted and then before I knew it, the school year ended! We've enjoyed our last Summer with him completely free and I'm again prepping myself for the second year. I keep telling myself "ok maybe 2nd year is when it kicks in" but who knows, maybe I will be pleasantly surprised again! Good luck though! I bet Kevin will do great!
So brave. You'll both do great things in Arizona.
Also, I hope the move didn't kill you and that you're finding some shade. Can't wait to hear more about/from your new home.
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