the lives of the hearts

I just think,
that things are hard sometimes.
and school is stressful,
and grad school applications are even worse.
and some people are not nice to you,
even though you are nice to them.

But I also think,
that even though things are hard sometimes,
and i feel like i want to give up,
there is something so beautiful about being here.
and by here i don't mean hawaii.
and i don't mean this earth.
but i mean being inside this body of mine,
and being able to feel sad and lonely and even stressed.
things work out.
they always will.
and i get to be there when they do.

{photo via}

Being Away...

Would be a lot easier,
If I didn't like him so much.

Time to tell about my trip.

I maybe had one of my favorite weekends of my life.

I got to play with all of my friends, which I felt so lucky about.
I have the best friends in the world.
Kelsie was nice enough to let me stay at her lovely condo. I miss her.
Lizzie drove all the way from Logan just to see me.
Jessica reminds me of what it is like to be myself.

Kevin made me smile the entire trip.
He spoke to me in kitty, dragon, and hand hugs.
And sometimes in English I guess.

I ate enough to last me another two months in Hawaii
(I am always hungry here)

And I just never wanted to come back.
But I keep reminding myself that I live in Paradise.
And stepping off the plane from cold Utah into warm Hawaii....

I felt a little bit optimistic.
(just a little bit though)

Tonight!

I am climbing onto one of these.
And flying through the night back to Utah.
You might think Hawaii to Utah is a funny vacation, since I live in Hawaii.
But believe me, this is going to be the vacation of a lifetime.
I am so lucky.

Sometimes

I am so awkward.
I can't help it.
I just am.

Right Now

I would like to climb into this painting and hide.
And no one would be able to find me.
And I could dance and sing to an invisible audience,
who always clapped for me.
And there would be no assignments, or mean bosses or loneliness.
Just me and my sashays and my dancing friends,
who always love me and whisper "Good luck" before the big show.
And instead of giving me roses my fans would give me books and fresh peaches and poetry.
And I think I could be really happy there.

Castle

This weekend I went to Castle Beach.

It was probably the best beach I have ever been to.
They had these adorable beach shacks you can rent.
They also had cute little Hawaiian boys and girls playing in the sand.

I went with Lyndsey and Jenny, my sweet friends.
We got Acai bowls (smoothies with bananas, granola, and honey).

And I fell in love with Hawaii all over again.

I Do.

I think about getting married sometimes.
I do.
Do you?

I like

I've been staring at these images for days now.

I love fashion.
Not in a vain, prissy, proud way.
But in a creative, feminine, pretty way.
_

I think it's amazing how a new skirt, or blouse or shoes can transform you magically into something completely different.
_

(It's kind of like magic)

Jessica

I can't stop staring at this picture.
My little sister is so gorgeous.
And she is even more beautiful inside.
(If that is even possible)
I feel sorry for everyone who doesn't get to have her for a sister.

I miss her everyday.

love this ♥

All, everything that I understand, I understand only because I love.
- Tolstoy

(someday i want to make room for this beautiful picture in a nursery)

Yesss

A whole new season of Spencer Pratt mocking.

Has anyone else noticed his new attempt at fashion?

Cowboy gear? Really?

Giddy Up