Lizzie's wedding

My bff Lizzie got married last weekend in the Salt Lake Temple. It was such a beautiful, perfect day. She glowed all day long, beaming from happiness. 


It is fun to see such a good friend get married, especially when you grew up together like we did. When we were in fifth grade, we built a fort in the forest behind my house and when we were in junior high we followed our friends to the movies and threw popcorn at them because they were sitting with boys. We went to endless concerts in high school, and witnessed each other's terrible (okay mine were terrible) boyfriends and crushes and broken hearts. We lived together our freshman year of college, and shared clothes and towels and secrets. Together we have camped under the stars, swam in the beaches of Rhode Island, road-tripped, eaten pizza in Boston, and spent countless evenings chatting with popcorn and jelly bellies in hand.


When I first met Brock, I knew they would be together for a long time. They really seem to have been made for each other. Really, it's not just two people who decided to be together and make it work - they are so similar, and so good at taking care of one another.


I was emotional most of the day out of happiness. I know the feeling of love and support and encouragement that can only come from being with someone who loves you enough. Marriage isn't perfect, and sometimes it is frustrating and difficult, but it is also complete and kind and safe in the very best way.


We're so glad Liz and Brock found each other - and so happy that we will all be together in Arizona. (We move in three weeks!?)


Congratulations you little love birds. p.s. forgive the lack of pictures. Instagram is where it's at these days - (my username is @mvoisin if you want to follow along.)


p.p.s - how beautiful are my friends? We have all been through a lot together and I love them so much. 

The Night Circus

“I made a wish on this tree years ago," Marco says.
"What did you wish for?" Bailey asks.
Marco leans forward and whispers in Bailey's ear. "I wished for her."

The Night Circus was my Lake Powell read. Kevin complained when we got home that all I did was read all week, which was true. I couldn't put this book down.

My sisters recommended it to me, and I can see why. It was the most original piece of fiction I have read in a really long time. From beginning to end, it was absolutely magical. Truly, it transports you to a new world with believable characters, and magic that doesn't seem contrived.

The thing I loved the most about it though, was the sensory descriptions. I could taste the cinnamon flavored scones, the perfectly melted caramel apples that were neither hard or soft. The swirling cups of rich, hot chocolate. The wardrobe was described perfectly without getting annoying, and the circus itself sounded like the very best kind of dream. My sisters and I gushed about how badly we wanted to attend the circus after I finished. I don't know how Erin Morgenstern covered every detail so well without going overboard, but she totally did.

The story line itself was complicated and twisting, with complex characters and multiple story lines. At times I wondered where it was going, but it always came around in an unexpected and charming way. The main story line had a Romeo and Juliet feel but we all agreed that it wasn't overdone. Instead, the love story was diluted with other pieces of the story, making it feel less mushy and more romantic.

I do wish that there was a little more closure at the end, and that more explanation of how the magic works was given. But - at the same time, I think that is part of what made it so magical. The secret of it, and the mystery even to those who performed it.

Please read it. It is a great summer time read and the magic is almost tangible. Well done from beginning to end. 

Have you read The Night Circus? What did you think?

“But you built me dreams instead.” 

starry night

This week in Lake Powell I slept under the stars until the sun came up, all alone with my thoughts an entire night. I tried sleeping, but it never came so I finally surrendered to the night and let my mind roam.

Shooting stars were always a novelty before that night. I watched shooting stars with friends, and felt like I had to share my wishes with whoever spotted the star first. But that night I had so many to myself that I ran out of wishes and began wishing for the same things again, because the wishes were so big that I felt like they may take multiple wishes. Before my wishes have always been more like desperate hopes, so I turned the hope into a form of prayer and blended the two, making wish/prayers that I know were heard.

If you stare at the stars long enough, you see that they are layered. I think I have only really ever brushed the surface but they stretch so much deeper and behind each star is another one, and another one and their infinity was overwhelming. I lay there and made wishes until the sun came up and the stars disappeared, and then I finally fell asleep.

I don’t know why I haven’t been able to stop thinking about that night under the stars since. No profound thoughts were had, no brilliant ideas. But I did feel closer to God than I have in a long time, and I did feel like it was important for me to keep watching them, so I did.

I guess I forget sometimes how close we can feel to heaven.

Book Club Recap

“I would not have traded the delights of my suffering for anything in the world.”


We met for book club Saturday at Ingrid's lovely apartment where she made us endless ebelskivers. Basically, if you are not already coming to book club, you should. It is the best group of talented and funny girls and, as Brittany put it so well, "kindred spirits." If you know what kindred spirits means and where it is from, you belong there with us. And if you haven't come yet because you are shy, please just come. We will make sure you feel welcome.


We discussed Memories of My Melancholy Whores. I was skeptical about the book because of the title, but I kind of liked it. I didn't love it, but I did like it.


Here are things we discussed:


 - The Madonna/Whore complex. Why women are labeled as one or the other, and cannot be both. You are either pure as a woman or tainted. We talked about how men idealize virgins, and why they might do that.


- Falling in love at 90 years old. How beautiful that aspect of the story was. Just when you think that nothing will surprise you again, you fall in love for the first time. Such a lovely thing to think about.


- Living alone, and making up your own realities when you have been alone for long enough.


- The fact that he fell in love with the sleeping girl. About maybe why he would love her because she isn't awake to nag him, to tell him to pick up his socks, or to put his own dishes in the dishwasher. 


- Age gaps in relationships. We discussed this pretty thoroughly. I think we all agreed that relationships don't always happen the same for all of us. How a 90 year old can love a 14 year old and she can love him back.


I loved book club last week and am excited for our next meeting.


We are reading The Great Gatsby. All of us discussed it in Junior High, before we actually knew how to discuss books. Also, most of us wanted to re-read it before the movie comes out. (If you haven't seen the trailer yet, watch it here. I can't wait to see it.)


Have you read the book? What did you think? What books should we discuss next? Any favorites out there?

Do Everything

There are too many things to say. And there are far too many things to do.


I've decided that my new life mantra is Andy Warhol's simple epithet: Do Everything.


I told Kevin that I want to live by that mantra my entire life. I want to go to Cairo and Jerusalem. To spend a year in the French countryside. A year in Italy. To raft in Peru (which we are actually going to do over Thanksgiving!)


I want to go to culinary school, and interior design school. I want to get my PHD in Creative Writing and teach at a university. I want to learn to sew and paint and fly fish.


"I want to have a dozen kids," I told Kevin and received two adorable, raised eyebrows in response. Because, well, a dozen is a lot but I want a house full of noisy, sassy, perfect children. I want to be a mom to all of them.


I want to work for a major company. I went to QVC this week and was enthralled by the business model. I want to create that. I want to be an editor. I want to write so many books.  I want to open a restaurant. I want to learn to take photographs. I want to learn how to play the cello, and the harp.


I have heard parents limit my piano students. "He didn't practice because..." "This song was too hard for her..." "She can't do it." It makes me so angry the way some of them do it so casually. I often wondered why these parents would limit their kids, instead of pushing them to be better. Instead of expecting excellence.


When I think about it though, I am so quick to limit myself. "I can't do this and have kids..." "I can't go there because of money..." "I'm not talented enough."


But this morning on my carpool to work with Kev, we dreamt up all of the things we could and will do. It's not a matter of if, but when with a husband like him. That might sound blindly optimistic but if I have the choice between limiting or aspiring the answer is so simple. I feel like it has taken my entire life up to this point to realize this basic, essential truth:


We can have exactly what we want. 

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The Happiness Project

I just finished Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project. I have to admit, that I was a little wary before starting it because of the self-help aspect of it, but heard such good things that I decided to try it out.


I'll start with the bad - at times the book frustrated me. Rubin works in New York City with her husband and two daughters, is a full-time writer, a successful published author, and is very financially stable. Her life seems like the life most people would die for, so I felt like she should probably already be happier than the average person. At times she talked about working and I was like, "Are you kidding? I would die to write for my career all day." Still, there were times when I realized that that was kind of the point of the book - no matter how good we have it, we still can't all honestly say, "I am happy."


The book inspired me to start my own Happiness Project, and since I don't want to wait until January to start fresh, I'll start in June. How the project works is, each month Rubin focused on an aspect of happiness - Health, Money, Passion, Marriage, Organization, etc. From there she outlined specific goals to focus on that month, and documented her experience. Each month she added on to what she was previously doing so by the last month she felt like her life was in order and even if she wasn't happier, she was conscious of feeling happier, and had minimized the things that made her unhappy. She also has a great blog, where she continues the discussion. 


I feel like in lieu of impending medical school, a big move and a completely new life almost, this year from June 2012 to June 2013 is the best time to start my own project.


I'll probably document it here to help keep myself on track. If you haven't read it, I recommend it. It's amazing how just a series of small steps can lead to more awareness of the happiness that exists.


Have you read The Happiness Project? Have you ever done your own Happiness Project?


p.s. sorry I haven't been around in awhile. I've been working overtime and moving during my free time, which doesn't leave a lot of time for blogland.

if you let them

new books. long nights talking late with friends. falling asleep with the fan spinning above my head and his arm draped across my side. homemade pizza crust made on the stone. talking to my sister and freezing the screen so i can see her anytime. sunlight streaming through the blinds. car wash signs and lemonade stands. a book that seems to write itself. bottomless popcorn. bellies swollen with babies. whispers during church. new computers. strawberry season. goodbye kisses. raw ambition. little fingers on the keys. 

these are all things that can make you happy if you let them. 

hard questions

I have this thing I do with Kevin and it is morbid and I should stop, but sometimes I can't help but ask. I want to know how his life would be lived if I were no longer in it. If I were no longer here on this earth. (am I the only wife who does this?)


Would you get remarried? Of course you would. What would she be like? How soon? Would you be an awkward dater? Would you tell her about me? Make sure she is so nice. 


Where would you live? Would you still go to school? Would your specialty change?


Would you sell all of my things? Would you give them away? Would you leave it up to someone else to pack up? Make sure my sisters help you.


How long would you miss me? How soon until you would feel better again?


The other night I asked him, "Would you still have kids?"


He thought about it for a minute. I could tell he wasn't sure how to respond, and he rubbed his eyes with his fingers before he finally spoke. 


"Yes. But they wouldn't be with you."


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fugitive pieces

                                     

We met for Book Club last night and discussed Fugitive Pieces. Some of us hated it, some of us loved it (me) but all of us agreed that there was so much to say, and so much heaviness we harbored after reading it. Almost inexpressibly, you finished reading and felt a sag in your heart, because it was poetically so much.

We discussed the women in the story. Do such women exist? And if so, does such a man exist that counts his wife or lover as his savior? I suggested that we piece together the things in life that mean something, which makes up this story. We have everyday things like brushing our teeth and taking out the trash and falling asleep and we don't write about these things because they don't matter. The women then - may have been personified as a savior because the narrator chose the pieces that mattered to him, making her that. I confessed that I wished that a man would write about me with that same passion. When I asked Kevin if he would ever write about me, he shrugged and said, "Maybe in my journal." That is not what I meant. :)

We discussed the poetry. Did it work? Ingrid mentioned stars like peppermints and how it was so unrealistic. Too much. "Purple Prose" she called it - the entire work was "Purple Prose." It's nice to have someone as smart as she is around.

We discussed the themes - so many. Death, Permanence, Geology, Love, Fear, Humanity. How the Holocaust can seem like a theme that is discussed so heavily in literature. We all agreed that learning about the Holocaust from a secondary point of view was refreshing.

Brittany mentioned the fact that the author was a poet. You can tell when you read it. It is so much poetry! I would recommend reading it in pieces, like I suggest here to really understand and relate to it.

And finally, some of our favorite parts (that I remember)

Emma: “Love makes you see a place differently, just as you hold differently an object that belongs to someone you love. If you know one landscape well, you will look at all other landscapes differently. And if you learn to love one place, sometimes you can also learn to love another.” 

Hillary: “I see that I must give what I most need.” 

Mine: "a dissonance — like grief, whose pain is love"

Ingrid's: ''She imagines the stars as peppermints and holds them in her mouth until they dissolve" (Just kidding :)

Our next book is Gabriel García Márquez's Memories of my Melancholy Whores.

Thanks for those of you who came. I love you girls.

Apartment Tour

I have been meaning to post these pictures and have just gotten around to it.. as we are moving. This apartment has been frustrating to decorate. Most of it is one long, narrow room. We couldn't figure out where to put a TV so we just decided not to put one in our living room at all. When friends come to watch a movie we all pile on the bed in our room :)

Our landlord is strict. So strict that he wouldn't let us hang pictures on the walls. AT ALL. I love the location, the vaulted ceilings, and a lot of things about the apartment but needless to say I am ready for a new place to decorate. A lot of the items seen are listed here for sale, and even if they're not listed we are probably selling them, we just haven't gotten around to posting them. Email me if you have any questions or are interested. (And please excuse my terrible photography skills.)

Living Room:

Sofa: EQ3 (for sale)

Pillows: Kohls

Tables: Ikea

Rug: Bed Bath & Beyond

Tray: Z-Gallerie

Ghost Chair: Amazon

Blue Chair: Vintage (For sale)

Mirrored Dresser: Pottery Barn

Horse Picture: Paul Ferney

Dining Room:

Table: Ikea (for sale)

Chairs: Vintage, reupholstered

Olive wood Candlesticks: A gift from Jessica in Jerusalem

Bedroom:

Duvet: eBay

Sparkle pillow: Bed Bath & Beyond

Lamp: QVC

Side Table: Savers

Dresser: Craigslist

Mirrored Frame: Z-Gallerie

Shell: Our honeymoon

Cleaning House

This weekend, my lovely bookshelf went from this:




To this:

We are definitely moving. I realized while taking this picture to sell our shelf that I have never done an apartment tour. I think I procrastinated it because it didn't feel finished. Now I realize that decorating is never finished. I still want to have some pictures to document this place we've spent 18 months at though, so expect a home tour post later this week. Just don't expect anything crazy or magazine quality. Also, since we have started moving already an entire room won't be included. It is now occupied by boxes and miscellaneous objects I did not know existed.


Also, we are selling most of our earthly belongings to pay for Kevin's school :) Not really, but we do want to sell a lot so we don't have to move/store it. Here are some local listings (don't ask about some of the stuff we are selling... long story.) We still need to add more (like my car!) but it is a good start.  I might list things like winter clothes and boots too that I can ship if there is enough interest. We are definitely getting rid of all of our Utah winter clothes and it makes me sad. 


Arizona here we come!

Tia's wedding

Tia's wedding was last Friday, and I don't think I have ever been to a reception that was as fun as hers. Honestly.  All of my favorite people were there, the atmosphere was a total party, and Tia and Dan couldn't be cuter. I went to the temple as well earlier in the day and their ceremony was so beautiful and sacred. 

I'm so happy that so many of my friends have found the best guys to marry. Seriously, I don't know how we all got so lucky but we have some pretty amazing husbands (myself included.) 

Kelsie, Kylie and Lizzie. Love these girls!

Bryan, Me, Christa, Katie, Lizzie, Danika, Stacey

faux graduation

I didn't walk at my graduation. I said I didn't do it because we were getting married around that time and I was stressed but if I were being honest with myself it was really because walking at a graduation felt too official. I loved college. I loved being a student. It has been a little hard to come around to the idea that it is Kevin's turn to go to school now and that it will be my turn again when he is done but I am starting to feel okay about it.

We decided to take pictures even though neither of us walked. We borrowed some robes from great friends, and had my sister in law Julie take the pictures. It took five minutes, and this is the only one I would put in a public place but it was still worth it. "For posterity" I kept telling Kev.

Well kids? Here are your parents not on graduation day. Just dressed in borrowed robes standing in front of the entrance sign. Your mom studied English and your dad studied Neuroscience and we hope you go to BYU too so your education will be subsidized and we can use our money to go on cruises and retire early. 

p.s. Photobucket changed and I hate that site anyway. What do you use to put html photos on your blog? I don't like using the basic uploader since it always changes the size.

revery

To make a prairie it takes

a clover and one bee,

One clover, and a bee,

And revery.

The revery alone will do

If bees are few.

 - Emily Dickinson

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